So I sit here on another uneventful day. I fine myself, once again, staring blankly at the seventeen inch screen of doom in front of me. My soul is being pulled, day by day, deeper into the depths of internet isolation. Countless hours wasted watching images flash in front of my eyes, trying to take my mind off of what is truly important in my life. I seem to be sinking deeper and deeper into a depression. May just be due to the sunless days and the blistering cold. May be due to the media I have been subjecting myself to. I might even go as far to say I have been dragging myself down in the infinite hours I spend worrying over those I have words unsaid. Each day I suffer through the loss, every day I succumb to the words unsaid, every minute I look fine. Given the inner workings of my heart I feel pulled and distraught, like a person on an elaborate racking device being slowly pulled apart at every joint, click by agonizing click. How does one convey this feeling to others? Does one walk down the street with it proudly upon their chest, bearing the symbol of mourning? Does one hide in the dark corners waiting for their chance to speak, knowing it will never come? Who do you let know, who do you leave in the dark, when you can barely tell yourself the truth. It is a wonder how much a human body can endure: pain, suffering, trauma, mental anguish. People can live months with out food, weeks without water, years with out contact, and decades with out feeling.

We as humans spend our lives worrying about when and how we are going to die. Oh yes we as humans live do die, and we are scared of it. Oh boy are we scared to the point of killing to get away from death. We never talk about it, we try to never think of it, it is this taboo item of society. What grief it would bestow upon us all if the person closest to you died. Every one around the world, no biases, no loopholes. Just an unadulterated loss, to live out the ages. People would go insane, people would be for once in their pitiful lives truly lost with no direction to go. They would then begin to understand a minute amount of what goes on in this world.

Maybe I am just over exaggerating a point. Maybe I am just ranting to no end. Maybe I have some truth to say. You can decide.